Small Soldiers

Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Gregory Smith, David Cross, Jay Mohr, Denis Leary, Dick Miller, Kevin Dunn, Ann Magnuson, Phil Hartman, Tommy Lee Jones (voice), Frank Langella (voice), Ernest Borgnine (voice), Jim Brown (voice), Bruce Dern (voice), George Kennedy (voice), Christopher Guest (voice), Michael McKean (voice), Sarah Michelle Gellar (voice), Christina Ricci (voice), Harry Shearer (voice)
Directed by: Joe Dante
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
1998

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: A toy manufacturer ships out a new product of toys fitted with the most sophisticated computer chips on the market. The toys prove more intelligent- and dangerous- than they anticipated.

Review:

Tim: I get what they were trying to do with Small Soldiers. In some ways, this is an early teenager's dream come true. Your toys come to life, but this isn't cutesy Toy Story, this is a violent adventure in which you're living out your fantasies while also getting the girl. It feels like this whole movie comes from a fever dream of a thirteen year-old boy. While there might be something legitimately to this idea, the execution doesn't quite work here. Small Soldiers is an okay movie, but it's not especially good and not one I have any desire to revisit.

The basic elements for a decent movie are here. We have a solid protagonist in this recovering bad boy who also has a heart of gold. There's the cute girl next door, and both their families. The idea of toy soldiers battling toy monsters is a solid one. This premise works and you'd think it sets the movie up fairly well. Indeed, these elements mostly work. However, there were some missed opportunities here that hurt the movie as well.

Kirsten Dunst is solid in her role. While I wish she had more to do and didn't need someone to rescue her, she still gives an entertaining performance. She does show some strength and courage during the climax, which was appreciated. Gregory Smith was pretty bland. He has a few decent moments, but his performance is too forgettable. I never believed he was a problem child in his previous schools. He seems to desirous of pleasing his parents. It's like the film wanted him to be the underdog (verses the more Alpha male competition) but it also wanted him edgy and dangerous. I don't know, it didn't quite work for me. Maybe a better actor could have sold me more on this character, but Smith doesn't accomplish that.

The rest of the cast are all in supporting roles, but it felt like the cast was too large, so these actors don't get enough screen time. Jay Mohr and David Cross are solid in their roles, but they bookend the film and don't get nearly enough to do. They worked well but their screen time was limited. Denis Leary was a scene stealer, but he only gets one ranting monologue. He makes the movie better, but he was much more interesting than many of the characters who get more screen time. I liked Kevin Dunn in the dad role. His time as appropriate. Dick Miller was great, but again, he doesn't get much screen time.

While the actors in the cast are decent, the voice cast is superb. It felt unfair to take the most talented actors and not get to see them at all. I loved Tommy Lee Jones' voice work as Chip Hazard. That was one of the film's biggest strengths. Frank Langella was terrific as well. The problem there is that his character wasn't given nearly enough to say. Langella has an excellent voice but he was vastly underutilized. The same can be said for Ernest Borgnine, Bruce Dern, George Kennedy, Michael McKean, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Christinia Ricci. That's a ton of talent relegated to voicing toys. On the one hand, bravo for getting such good actors. On the other, they overshadow the live actors we get to see.

One of the biggest problems I had is with the toys. They truly aren't very memorable at all. Jones' Chip Hazard is the most developed, memorable character. The rest of the soldiers are just a blur. I finished watching the movie today and I couldn't name a single soldier (truth be told, I had to iMDB Chip Hazard). None of them are all that memorable. The same issue is with the Gorgonites (I remembered that name). Langella's voice is great, but Archer (again, had to look it up) is one of the most boring characters in recent memory. He says nothing of any real importance and is severely underdeveloped as a character. And, he's the most memorable of the bunch! I couldn't tell you a single thing about any of the others. I think there's one with one eye, maybe? They are so dull and instantly forgettable. And, that is one of the most damning things about the script. We don't really care about the Gorgonites because we don't get to know them very well. Plus, they spend 95% of the movie doing nothing. They are so boring and pointless. It's really a major problem with this film. We needed to care about the characters, to get to know them. I would have thought they'd do this to sell merchandise at the very least.

Now, I will say that the visual effects were really effective. The toys seem so lifelike. The visuals must have taken significant amounts of time to get right. They really are impressive, although it does feel like too much time was spent on the look and not enough time getting the script right. As a whole, though, I have no complaints about the visuals- the movie looks excellent.

The story is really the letdown here. It's predictable and absurd. The characters borrow lines from a plethora of sources, which maybe makes sense in the logic of the film and the microchips, but it also makes the movie seem like a total recycle job. The characters speak in recycled lyrics and the rest of the film feels borrowed from better movies, too. It'll definitely be more entertaining for a preteen or early teenager, but the film is chock full of issues that easily could have been fixed. The climax has some nice moments (hitting the flaming tennis balls back with a racket), but the whole EMP thing simply didn't feel believable. I never really bought into that plot line and the characters weren't all that compelling, so it was difficult for me to stay focused on the screen.

Small Soldiers is okay, but it's not a film I'd want to see again. I'm shocked it was 1 hour and 50 minutes (that's way too long). There were some nice ideas here and solid visuals, but the rest of the film leaves a lot to be desired.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 6



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