Rock of Ages

Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Tom Cruise, Alec Baldwin, Russell Brand, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, Paul Giamatti, Mary J. Blige, Bryan Cranston, Will Forte, Eli Roth, T.J. Miller
Directed by: Adam Shankman
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Musical
2012

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: The Bourbon Club in Los Angeles attracts rock stars, aspiring musicians, and the ire of anti-rock activists.

Review:

Tim: Rock of Ages looked stupid, but I found myself excited to see it. As a kid growing up in the 1980s, the music in this film would certainly hit a nostalgic chord, and it did boast a pretty good cast. Unfortunately, this movie is quite bad. There might have been a little promise here, but it's completely squandered. This is easily one of the most disappointing, lackluster films of the year.

The biggest problem (among the many) is that Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta are the two leads. Here's the problem- neither is a good actor, and they are completely forgettable. This means that we don't care much about them, and as the leads, they are who we're supposed to connect with the most. It does not happen. Hough is not a good actress- she is just not talented enough. I don't remember anything about her performance. Boneta is even worse- he's an uncharismatic, bland actor, and these two together don't provide much spark. I was bored with them.

This is a shame, because the rest of the cast is pretty impressive. Alec Baldwin is fun, although most of his scenes are with Russell Brand, who is annoying more than anything else. Malin Akerman is fine. She gets a few fairly good scenes. Catherine Zeta-Jones was pretty good. Paul Giamatti was humorous, and worked well with the rest of the cast. The supporting cast was fine, but did nothing really spectacular.

That statement doesn't apply to Tom Cruise. Cruise easily gives the best performance of the film, and as Stacee Jaxx, is incredibly memorable. The film would have been significantly better with more Stacee Jaxx and less of Hough and Boneta's (I cannot remember his name, he's just such a boring actor) weak characters. Cruise perfectly embodies the loopy, drug-riddled rock legend. He was quite fun to watch, and if he really did sing all the songs himself, I'm even more impressed with his performance. Cruise is the best thing in a very bad movie. While I certainly would never claim his performance was anything approaching Oscar-worthy, he gives a fun, solid portrayal of a rock god. He was fun to see in this film.

Unfortunately, besides Cruise, there's not much to like about this movie. The classic 80s songs are fun to hear, but the original bands all sang them much, much better. Listening to the music here, I almost always thought, "That is a great song! I really want to turn this movie off and go listen to the original." I don't believe that is what this movie was going for.

The stories involved in this are quite weak. Not enough happens. For a film that clocks in at a ridiculous 123 minutes (it should have been 15 minutes shorter, at least), I was surprised at what a glacially slow pace the story moved. The focus here was definitely on the songs. As the songs are only average, they sink the rest of the movie. There's just not enough here to support a two-hour movie.

While this movie makes at least a decent attempt, it's just a poorly constructed, boring movie. Rock of Ages is yet another disappointing musical. While musicals can definitely work, I'm getting more and more frustrated with this genre. This film is yet another bad musical. There's just so many problems here that the movie never had a chance.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 4.5



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