Parker

Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte, Michael Chiklis, Clifton Collins Jr.
Directed by: Taylor Hackford
Rating: R
Genre: Action
2013

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: When Parker (Jason Statham) is double-crossed by his team of thieves, he becomes intent on seeking revenge and retrieving his share of their heist.

Review:

Tim: I don't think Taylor Hackford is a bad director, but it just felt like he was going through the motions here. Parker is a weak movie in almost every single aspect. The film did nothing for me, offered no reason to care about anything you saw, and is almost completely forgettable from start to finish. This entire movie was just a giant waste of time.

The problem is that every single aspect of this film is average or below average. There's nothing exciting, nothing memorable about any of it. Everyone involved seemed perfectly intent to make a run-of-the-mill action film. It's no surprise that this film bombed at the box office- it never gives us a reason to sit up or take notice. The script was incredibly weak. It's so full of plot holes that I spent almost the entire film pointing out logic gap after too-convenient moment after ridiculous scene. It's just a steady steam of bad writing and poor dialogue.

Jason Statham never had an inspired moment in the entire film. It's not that he is bad in the role. It's just that he has played this exact part in a slight variation of this movie dozens of times already. He seemed to just want to show up, sleepwalk through the performance, and move on. He boasts one of the worst Texas accents I've ever heard, and bored me from start to finish. Jennifer Lopez almost seems like an afterthought- like the whole script was finished, and they realized they needed to add a part for a famous Hollywood actress. She never hits the heart of the movie, existing only on the periphery, and seemed like a huge waste of time. The film might have been better if her character was completely cut. She and Statham had no real chemistry together on screen.

I liked seeing Nick Nolte, but I feel like the writers forgot his character completely, as he just disappears from the film. Michael Chiklis gave a good performance as the villain, but "good" is all relative here. The rest of the cast was about as lackluster as you would expect.

Now, I certainly didn't hate Parker. It was minimally interesting. The fight scene in the upper room of the hotel is actually done extremely well, and was very intense and exciting. That was the highlight of the film. The rest of the movie is a slow, bland, unengaging mess. This is the film that you get when no one involved in the production really cares at all about the final product. This is one of the worst movies I've seen so far in 2013.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 5



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