Jonah Hex

Starring: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Michael Fassbender, Will Arnett, Michael Shannon, Wes Bentley, Aidan Quinn, Lance Reddick, Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Directed by: Jimmy Hayward
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Western, Thriller
2010

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) reluctantly helps out the United States government to hunt down his own nemesis, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) before he can bring the struggling nation to its knees.

Review:

Tim: Jonah Hex isn't so much your typical "terrible" movie as much as it is a purely inconsequential movie. The film is so flimsy and so much of a mess that it almost seems silly to hate it. I simply felt sorry for it, and all those involved. I love comic book movies, but I'm not sure every single comic book character needs their own movie. Maybe they do, but they at least need to be decent. Jonah Hex is a character that could have worked on screen, but doesn't.

The biggest problem with this film is that it has no effect on the audience at all. I don't remember feeling a single emotion from start to finish. I didn't laugh, I didn't smile, I didn't bite my nails or inch forward in my chair. I didn't open my eyes wide or feel a sense of wow at any moment. The film didn't completely bore me, but it kept me in a neutral state- that is not a good place to be.

The story is fine, but it is completely silly and redundant from other films, none of which were very good in the first place. I shrugged at the story in genre. It is full of cliches and lazy writing, even if it does have a few inspired ideas now and then. There aren't any surprises, and the film plays out exactly as you might expect. It is always frustrating when you watch a movie that doesn't try to challenge you at all- it instead goes for the lowest common denominator. That movie will fail nine times out of ten, and it does so here.

I was a bit surprised that so many talented actors ended up here. I understand the appeal of playing Jonah Hex, but Josh Brolin really should have passed this one by. His performance isn't bad, but the character and the script is such a mess that he just looks silly throughout the movie. I didn't hate him here- again, I just felt sorry he had to suffer through this movie (to be fair, we, as the audience, suffered more). I also can't believe John Malkovich signed on to this project. Malkovich should have known better. It's one thing when a great actor slums it to take a juicy part and make it his own. That does not happen here. Malkovich is completely impotent and adds virtually nothing to the film. I was forgetting his performance while I was watching it. This was a huge mistake for him.

Megan Fox is the one actress I can understand why she's in this film. I can see the sales pitch- "You'll play an attractive prostitute (but with morals) and you don't actually have to do anything of substance." I am actually shocked how pointless Fox was in this movie. It was almost as if she wasn't even here. The rest of the supporting cast is actually decent. I loved seeing Aidan Quinn (where's he been?) as President U.S. Grant. Lance Reddick's presence was welcome, even though he had nothing to do. The same can be said for Jeffrey Dean Morgan's uncredited role- it's great that he's here, but pointless. I also liked seeing Wes Bentley, but again, he added nothing.

Jonah Hex is a weak, failed attempt to create an original, exciting film. There was no excitement, no thrills, and nothing to get your blood boiling. This is a piece of lightweight garbage- this movie had potential (when it was first announced, I was excited about it), but lives up to none of it. This movie is a failure- it's not a complete bomb, but it doesn't work at all. DC Comics and all those involved should have done better.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 5



If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: The Green Hornet, The Green Lantern, The Losers