John Carter

Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Samantha Morton (voice), Willem Dafoe (voice), Thomas Haden Church (voice), Dominic West, James Purefoy, Bryan Cranston
Directed by: Andrew Stanton
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy
2012

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: A Civil War veteran (Taylor Kitsch) is transported to Mars, where he finds himself involved in a war between two kingdoms, where the fate of the planet rests in the outcome.

Review:

Tim: John Carter was a notorious bomb in the summer of 2012, causing Disney to lose about $200 million on it. That's an incredible failure, and there's lots of blame to go around. The budget itself never should have been that high. Director Andrew Stanton stumbles in the transition from animated films to live action (this was his first live action movie). The marketing department completely bungled their efforts (why in the world did they drop the "of Mars" from the title?). There's a lot of reasons why this movie failed. The funny thing is that this isn't a terrible film. It's a completely mediocre one, but it did not deserve the awful fate it got. Still, for the expectations around this film, it's a massive disappointment.

A Civil War soldier on Mars was always a bit of a difficult sell, but it certainly could have worked. The John Carter story is one of the most influential in all of science fiction, and it would have been cool for this to turn into a franchise. That will not happen, of course. It really makes me question Disney's ability to deliver an action adventure franchise besides Pirates of the Caribbean (remember, Prince of Persia was pretty awful). This movie boasts a lot of spectacle, but it just feels far too empty.

I honestly do not believe Taylor Kitsch is leading man material. I know he lost about 30 pounds for the role, which is great, but he's just such a cardboard actor. He is completely forgettable, uncharismatic, and boring. John Carter should have been such a fascinating character. He just seemed too one-dimensional and uninteresting to me. Some of this is the script, but Kitsch deserves a lot of blame. I just don't find him a very dynamic actor. Lynn Collins was likewise a poor casting choice. She might look like a Princess of Mars, but I found her performance underwhelming. She never made any kind of emotional connection with the audience. I never really believed her performance, and I couldn't get myself to care about her character. She has lukewarm chemistry with Kitsch. These two really hurt the film.

Mark Strong was fine, but I almost feel like he's been the villain too much recently. Yes, he plays those parts well, but I've seen him as the bad guy too many times too often recently, and it just felt too tired to me. Dominic West and James Purefoy were fine, but nothing spectacular. Ciaran Hinds looked bored. I loved that Bryan Cranston was cast, but he had a forgettable role. I suppose it was fun to hear Samantha Morton, Willem Dafoe, and Thomas Haden Church has unrecognizable four-armed Martians, but I didn't really pick up on their voices, so I was unaware of who they were until the end. None of them really stood out.

So, while this film is completely flawed, I will admit I got caught up in the spectacle just a little. The film does not feel as expansive and epic as it should have felt (it pales in comparison to something like Avatar, but a lot of the budget went into the special effects, and it was a bit fun to see these big Martian battles. There's a lot of different creatures here- the giant white monsters, the super-fast dog, the aforementioned four-armed Martians, etc. The whole world is pretty interesting, and I did have fun being transported to a different place. Unfortunately, the characters were a bit too bland for my taste.

While John Carter is occasionally fun to look at, the film as a whole feels far too empty. It doesn't connect us with the characters or their story. There's long stretches of the film that feel far too slow. At 132 minutes, the movie is bloated and too long. I was never truly engaged with the film. It does not surprise me that this film bombed at the box office. It never looked good from the first trailer, and the marketing definitely failed it. That is too bad, because we need more action adventure franchises. This was bombed before it ever got off the ground. While the movie itself is slightly better than I expected, there's no way to rub off the stink of disappointment from this film. Everyone involved should be ashamed that such a classic, influential story that took over 70 years to make it to the big screen was such a dud. Disney needs to do a bit of soul searching, because this is the second potential action-adventure franchise they ruined in the last few years. I shudder to think what they will ruin next.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 6



If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl