The Jesus Rolls

Starring: John Turturro, Bobby Cannavale, Audrey Tautou, Susan Sarandon, Pete Davidson, Jon Hamm, J.B. Smoove, Christopher Walken, Sable Boykin, Tim Blake Nelson, Sonia Braga
Directed by: John Turturro
Rating: R
Genre: Comedy, Drama
2020

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: Jesus Quintana (John Turturro) gets out of prison and ambles along with his misfit crew.

Review:

Tim: I suppose it's not all that surprising that John Turturro would take his memorable supporting character from The Big Lebowski and direct himself in a spinoff movie focused on the exploits of that character. What is surprising is how many people he roped into appearing in this heinous movie of his. The Jesus Rolls is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long time. It's moronic, poorly made, a meandering mess. I cannot recall a single time I laughed throughout the course of the movie. It's an absolute failure and Turturro brought quite a talented cast down with him.

I'm not sure why people continue to take effective supporting characters and try to make them the protagonist. Jesus Quintana was memorable as a supporting character- he works in small doses, wonderfully. The problem is that he isn't a main character. He's not interesting or complex enough. As this movie goes on, the character becomes increasingly annoying. I'm not sure how anyone could care about this character. The worst part is that Turturro is completely oblivious to this fact. In front of and behind the camera, he's transfixed by his performance and this character. You can feel how much Turturro loves himself in this role. That translates to a horrible viewing experience. It's like Turturro is continually saying, "Look! Look how quirky and extreme this character is! Isn't this wonderful?" and the audience feels literally the exact opposite. It's awkward and painful to see the disconnect between whatever is happening in Turturro's mind and the reality of the movie in front of him.

I'm not sure I could convey the plot of this movie. I did my best in the above Summary, but I obviously kept it high level. Jesus and his loser friends kind of travel around. Some things happen, they meet other characters. I clearly missed the point. It feels like Turturro (who also wrote the script) missed the point as well. I was never given a clear reason why I should care about literally anything that happens on screen. It's all pointless, unfunny, and boring.

Bobby Cannavale takes a big hit here because he has so much screen time. His performance wasn't bad, I suppose, but his character was ludicrous. It just makes Cannavale seem worse than he is. I thought he put in effort, but got very little in return. At first, I was ecstatic to see Audrey Tautou here. I really, really like Tautou and it's been years and years since I saw her in a film. My excitement quickly turned to disappointment. Again, Tautou doesn't do anything wrong- indeed, she might give the best performance of the film. It's just that it's all pointless. She perhaps makes the biggest difference of anyone in the cast, and it's still negligible. Tautou is a strong actress and I always appreciate seeing her. She simply can't impact the movie as much as needed, though. Susan Sarandon was memorable in a few small scenes, but it felt unnecessary. Pete Davidson was decent, but again, their story felt like a weird offshoot that was only tangentially connected to the main plot. Jon Hamm was fine, he gets a few memorable scenes. Christopher Walken was totally wasted in an utterly unnecessary cameo. It felt so disappointing that he did absolutely nothing here. I can barely even remember Tim Blake Nelson here. As a whole, Turturro takes a good cast, gives them nothing to work with, and leaves them out to dry.

The Jesus Rolls is just a disaster of a movie. It takes a memorable supporting character and tarnishes his legacy to a certain extent. It just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Thankfully, this movie is really short. You only have to suffer through 1 hour and 25 minutes of this nonsense. Still, even with that, there's no doubt this movie is not worth your time.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 3.5



If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: The Big Lebowski, Transformers