Jem and the Holograms

Starring: Aubrey Peeples, Stefanie Scott, Aurora Perrineau, Hayley Kiyoko, Molly Ringwald, Juliette Lewis, Ryan Guzman
Directed by: Jon M. Chu
Rating: PG
Genre: Adventure, Drama
2015

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: A shy singer (Aubrey Peeples) reluctantly shoots to pop star stardom as Jem.

Review:

Tim: Why did I watch Jem and the Holograms? It's a question I have asked myself. Sure, there is the part of me that wants to watch every movie ever made (impossible). But, I still have to make choices- there's no way I can see every film that comes out every year. I could have easily passed this one by. If I watched the cartoon as a kid (I probably saw some episodes), I can't remember it. I have no emotional connection to it, even though I did grow up in the 80s. I suppose I wanted to see if they'd get the tricky adaptation from 80s cartoon to 2010s live action right. They didn't. And in the process, I spend nearly two hours of my precious time watching a completely sub par film. To be frank, I disliked this movie very much.

I understand the desire to be true to the source material, but this film took that to an extreme. First off, this PG movie has no business being two hours long. Director Jon M. Chu (whom I don't think has any talent) should know better. He's directed a number of similar movies before. They needed to cut 19 minutes from this film. There's an easy place to do it- the ridiculous subplot about the robot and the treasure hunt. I can only guess that this has a direct connection to the cartoon and will make diehard Jem fans (is there such a thing?) squeal with the nostalgia of the connection. That has to be the intent, because it only served to detract from the main story. Sure, it helped a bit with character development of Jem, but it was disjointed and took up too much time. There's a robot that no one seems to question too much- it shattered any illusion of believability the film might have had.

At the film's center was an interesting idea that I wanted to explore more- it's the story of a shy girl who has to deal with super-stardom. That is what you build a film around. Cut the robot and spend more time there. The movie dabbles in that realm, but it doesn't take the time to fully explore it. We have these one-dimensional, cliche characters like the record exec without a soul and the handsome, kind guy who is misunderstood but surprisingly deep once you get to know him. It made me roll my eyes. While it may have appealed to the targeted demographic, even the more discerning tweens would recognize something stunk about this film. Maybe that's why the film bombed at the box office, with only about $2 million in domestic receipts.

The cast was okay, but forgettable. Aubrey Peeples had a few decent moments as Jem, but if I never see her in anything else, it wouldn't surprise me. Unless Hollywood forces her into future films, I didn't see a lot from her. She was better than all of her sisters, who were completely forgettable. Stefanie Scott I knew from Insidious: Chapter 3, but she wasn't great and the other two sisters were even worse. They did get shortchanged by the script, but neither seized their limited screen time, either. Juliette Lewis was way too over-the-top in a cliched, painful to watch role. I don't mind Lewis, but she found herself in a bad spot here- there was no way she was going to look good coming out of it. It's just a bad role that anyone would have played. I liked seeing Molly Ringwald, but she wasn't in the film enough to make a difference. Really, the cast as a whole was disappointing. They might not have been terrible, but as a whole, they add very little to the end result.

The movie is hard to sit through. It's just lackluster in nearly every sense. It's predictable, safe, and tells a watered down story meant for viewers who don't want to think or ask too many questions. It's not especially entertaining and it often doesn't make logical sense. In short, this is just a bad movie.

Remaking 80s entertainment for audiences today is a tricky, difficult endeavor. I don't know the secret to success, but I know that Jem and the Holograms didn't find it. This felt like an attempt at a cash grab- let's make a movie about this cartoon and the fans will come in droves. It doesn't matter if the movie isn't any good, they will come anyway. That's not the case here and it's no surprise that this film is a total failure.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 4.5



If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: The original Jem and the Holograms cartoon