Fantastic Four

Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell Reg. E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson, Owen Judge
Directed by: Josh Trank
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Adventure, Science Fiction
2015

Times Seen:
Tim: 1

Summary: Four people travel through an inter-dimensional portal that changes the structure of their bodies and and alters their physical form.

Review:
Tim: Where do I begin to discuss one of the most critically reviled, epic failures of Hollywood? Growing up, I loved the Fantastic Four. I liked the first two movies, even though they were flawed. When I heard Fox was rebooting the franchise, I was immediately shocked at some bizarre decisions I'd heard about the production. It felt almost from day one that they had no idea how to use the property. A shocking series of tone-deaf decisions suggested this was a troubled production. Days before the movie came out, the director, Josh Trank basically disowned the movie. Not surprisingly, the bad buzz lead to an absolutely meltdown at the box office. This was a dismal failure all all fronts. Fantastic Four is a terrible movie.

I am a huge Marvel fan. I've seen every Marvel movie in theaters (except for Electra). There was no way in hell I was going to see this movie. It looked terrible from the very beginning. I'm actually glad this movie failed. Now, I probably sound like a spurned fanboy and I'm okay with that. What Fox didn't realize is that fans actually care about these properties. I read Fantastic Four comics as a kid. I love the characters of Reed, Sue, Johnny, and Ben. What we were given here wasn't the Fantastic Four. In a horribly misguided attempt to "contemporize" this property, the Fantastic Four lost their soul- what made them, them. In many ways, this movie disgusted me- to see one of my favorite superhero groups bastardized on screen.

I have a litany of complaints, so I'll just mention a few. I dislike the idea of the Fantastic Four being kids. That's not who this group is at all. I get why this was tempting to do, but it flies in the face of certain characters, most especially Reed Richards. I like Miles Teller, but his Reed was one of the most uninspiring, bland depictions I've ever seen. There's nothing fantastic about his character. I know it was one of the most controversial aspects of the film, so I have to mention the race of Johnny Storm. I am never especially concerned with race of characters on screen, but I have to admit this felt slightly problematic for me. I don't mean that Johnny Storm was African-American, but it felt symptomatic of a larger lack of understanding about the property. The Fantastic Four are all about family. If the producers wanted to make Johnny African-American, then they should have done the same for Sue Storm. "No, let's keep her white, and we'll say she was adopted!" This whole thing was unnecessary and it added another layer to the story that didn't need to be there. Why was she adopted? What happened to her family? When was she adopted? Were these two close as siblings growing up? In my opinion, it undermines the fabric of what makes those characters those characters. Does it hurt the film? Not really. But, it does add another easy complaint for fanboys (and I suppose, racists). Far worse than anything with the Storm siblings was the total mishandling of Victor Von Doom. Dr. Doom is one of the greatest villains in all of Marvel comics, and he shows up as an angry kid who's abandoned on Planet Zero. As bad as his introduction is, it's nothing compared to the absurdity of how he's depicted after gaining his powers. I don't know what he was supposed to be, but he was not Dr. Doom. Why even call him that? He didn't look like him in the least (truly, he looked laughably absurd). I absolutely hated how he was depicted in this film.

Now, these complaints could have been minor had we been treated to a compelling, exciting film. That's not the case. What makes Fantastic Four so surprisingly bad is that there's nothing truly awful about the movie (outside of how all the characters are depicted). This movie isn't a trainwreck where you watch as the whole things explodes. This story features nothing terrible, but it does everything poorly. When a movie like this is bad in every single aspect, it creates this black hole of a film that sucks your energy into it. I cared about nothing happening on screen. I didn't like the characters and I wasn't invested in their boring, slow, nothing-happens story. The movie plods ahead like it has an eternity to tell its story, so by the time the film ends, you're left with this bizarrely bad taste in your mouth. Nothing truly compelling happens. There's no real exploration of any of the relationships on screen. We don't know the characters much more than when the movie started. We're horrified of the godawful wig Kate Mara wears in various scenes. This is a movie that sucks because of the halfhearted whimper it delivers. It's almost as if everyone involved knew this was going to be a disaster.

I should mention the cast. I like Miles Teller, but he was woefully miscast as Reed. Kate Mara might have made a better Sue Storm than Jessica Alba (she's certainly more talented), but honestly, her wig ruined anything that might have been positive. Michael B. Jordan was totally lackluster. If you compare his performance to the energy and charisma Chris Evans brought to Johnny in the original movie, you'll see a stunning decline. Johnny is the funniest, coolest character in the comic. Why on earth does Jordan give such a lifeless, forgettable performance? Jamie Bell was totally screwed over as Ben Grimm. He has nearly nothing to do in the film and feels like a constant afterthought. Toby Kebbell never had a chance. I can't even grade his performance because I hated every second of his screen time, simply because his character was presented so poorly.

Truly, Fantastic Four is a massive failure. In the Golden Age of superhero movies, for a film like to come out- so tone deaf to the source material, completely misguided in nearly every aspect- it's a stunning disappointment. I will say two things became clear from this film- Fox has no business holding the rights to this property (Marvel needs to get it back) and Josh Trank has emerged as one of the directors I hate most in Hollywood.

Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 4



If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: Fantastic Four (2005), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer