Catwoman
Starring: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt
Directed by: Pitof
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Crime
2004
Times Seen:
Tim: 1
Summary: Shy, weak Patience Phillips (Halle Berry) has life her changed when she dies and is brought back to life by a cat, or something. She then becomes a kinda-good-guy, kinda-bad-guy. Does it really matter?
Review:
Tim: I figured this movie would be a trainwreck, but I was wrong- it is a planewreck into a trainwreck into a carwreck, rolling over into a boatwreck of a movie. What the hell was everyone involved in this film thinking? It makes me nervous because this piece of putrid crap is what could kill the comic book movie craze. There was no need for a well-made Catwoman movie, so there was absolutely no reason for a disaster like this.
Halle Berry should be slapped across the face and barred from making movies for three years. At times like this, I wish Hollywood had a system like hockey's penalty box- you make a bad movie, you take a mandatory "vacation" for some specified length of time.
Costars Sharon Stone and Benjamin Bratt should have known better than to sign on to this. Stone's character is completely ridiculous and she looks pathetic in the role. Bratt actually has a decent role and is likeable except for when he has to interact too much with Berry.
The film's insistence on making Berry like a real cat and all the cat jokes amount to a criminal act- landing on your feet, love of catnip and milk- we get it already, she's a cat. And you know what else? THAT IS SO LAME. Don't even get me started on the sexual basketball game in the presence of kids. Whoever came up with that deserves to be beaten repeatedly with a mop or something. Catwoman is a victory for one person- Michelle Pfieffer, because she intelligently refused to do it and her performance as Catwoman stands up as a billion times better than Berry. Shame, shame on everyone involved with this turd.
Rating 1-10
Tim's Rating: 2.5
If You Enjoyed This Movie, We Recommend: Never watching another movie again